Why Do all New Yorkers Drive Like 90-Year Old Women?

In the New York metro area, there are a multitude of drivers from different states. You've got your New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and Pennsylvania drivers all trying to get around on the jungle of highways that surround New York City. I currently live in New Jersey, but I often go to my hometown in Orange County, New York. I also have an hour commute to work each way. To summarize, I drive around for about two hours each day.

I am not your typical Sunday afternoon driver. I will minimize the time spent driving by travelling at slightly faster speeds than others and maneuvering around anyone who's in my way. Speed is not really a thrill for me, I just would rather be doing something more productive (like a Flip Cup Tournament) than sitting in my car.


I get extremely annoyed when I am driving in the left lane (at around 80 mph) and I approach someone who is driving at about 55 mph. Usually there is no one in the middle or right lanes, this butt head is just cruising along in the passing lane. If they decline to move over, I will get increasingly aggressive and begin to tailgate them. Again, they are usually oblivious to this. My last resort is passing them on the right, and then cutting them off back in the left lane. My message is sent: MOVE OVER!


About 95% of the time, this space cadet has a NY license plate. Why do New Yorkers drive slow in the left lane?! I received my license from New York, and I don't recall driving slow in the left lane as a part of the curriculum. I don't know, maybe it's something that was before my time?


I don't want to totally hate on NY drivers, so let's bring Jersey into the mix. When I am driving in the left lane behind a slow New Yorker I am sometimes tailgated. And about 95% of the time this person has a New Jersey license plate. My resolution is to slam on my brakes which startles them and forces them to back off. It's not my fault if you rear-end me.


The worst of the worst: Hasidic drivers. There are quite a few of these Orthodox Jewish communities in the New York area. I usually don't like to judge people based upon culture or religion (which I have been ironically doing this whole article on a more localized scale, but in a light-hearted manner), but why are these people such terrible drivers? In Orange County NY (Route 17 aka "The Quickway"), they had to build a divider in the middle of the highway because the Hasidic people kept running off their side of the highway, across the middle and into oncoming traffic. No joke, every time you read about the accident on Route 17 in the paper they made sure to include that the driver was Hasidic.


It is a characteristic of the people in my family to think they are the best drivers ever but for real... I am no driving instructor. I have raced cars with professional drivers and they had their fun ragging on me for slamming on the brakes around a turn. A solution to this - we should all go back to horse and buggy. Not only will there be fewer altercations and accidents on the road - but horses are only guilty of emitting methane, which isn't as harmful as the fumes from your automobile.

That, and we should dedicate a holiday celebrating the existence of Joey Lawrence.