Eligible Eddie

Edward Snowden, the National Security Agency (NSA) consultant who leaked top-secret surveillance programs to the press, is looking for a country to grant him asylum.  His method for requesting asylum has been limited to submitting written requests via fax due to his inability to leave the airport in Moscow. 

Since Snowden is American, he should handle this in a very American way: REALITY DATING SHOW! OMG!

So, let me rephrase the first paragraph:

Edward Snowden, a hunky and daring bachelor, is looking for the love of his life.  After suffering through a scornful and tumultuous relationship with his ex-girlfriend, America, Eddie is looking for love all around the world!   He’ll strut his stuff for a gaggle of gorgeous world leaders, with the expectation that one of them will select him for sexy sanctuary!

A few weeks into the competition has already proven to be interesting and cutthroat.  Here are the potential suitors and their current impressions of Eddie:

• America is a woman scorned!  How dare Eddie betray her!  If she can’t have Eddie, she’ll make life miserable for any potential suitor.
• Uninterested India is uninterested in Eddie.  She usually goes for a different type.
• Cryptic China won’t say how she feels.  Oh, what a mystery she is!
• Backpedaling Ecuador changed her mind!  Her initial lust after Eddie was shredded after realizing the havoc that bitter America would wreak on their picturesque life together.
• Proud Poland, Beautiful Brazil, and Nice Netherlands don’t want the drama.
• Reluctant Russia is willing to negotiate, but she wants Eddie to change his dangerous ways!
• Underdog Bolivia needs some attention.  She’s made her interest known, but is smothered by the popularity of the other competing countries.  She’s starving for the fame and has planned something drastic to get noticed…
• Voluptuous Venezuela has made her desires known.  She wants Eddie big time and she is willing to make it happen.

Is Eddie is secret talks with China?  Will he change his daredevil ways to be with Russia?  Or will he fall for the open attraction voiced by Bolivia and Venezuela?  Find out next week on… ELIGIBLE EDDIE!

Reaction to "Encounter at Farpoint"

This is the first episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  This episode does what every other series opener does: introduce the characters.  But I am not here to give you a recap of each character's personality.  Other than Commander Riker, a.k.a. Number One (hahahahahah, BATHROOM HUMOR!), looking pretty creepy without his signature beard, the cast features a standard lineup of characters and they are not worthy of my comments at this time.

I would like to go straight to the entity they call "Q."  I don't know exactly what Q is, but he appears to be some sort of advanced being that occasionally takes a human form in order to toy with the crew of the Enterprise.

(Just a side note for those of you who are not into Star Trek but are reading this out of the kindness of your hearts, the Enterprise is this big, ol' starship and its mission is to discover new worlds and new civilizations in space.  Some of the characters on the show are hot, but this series was filmed in the 1980's so they all look really cheesy.  Onward.).

After watching this episode, I realized that Q is played by actor John de Lancie and not James Woods.  I don't know why, but I always thought that James Woods played Q.  I mean, James Woods is all over the place so it just made sense to me that he was the guest actor in the series.  

(I might also add here that I am really bad with watching movies and TV.  Due to the lack of knowledge I have about the players in the entertainment industry, I easily confuse actors.  To illustrate, I recently went to the movie theater for the first time since 2005.  Also, watching TV consists of either sports programming or science/nature shows.  Regardless, I am a blast at parties.  Really.).

To save you the trouble of Googling their images, I bring you John de Lancie and James Woods, respectively.

Maybe they don't look a lot alike, but in my head they're both big-headed (physically) and their voices are similar.  Either one of them could play the part of Q successfully.  Wait a second... I know another big-headed guy with a distinct voice...

..."The Voice of the Yankees" Michael Kay.  Imagine if Michael Kay played Q?  He would make the Q character even more condescending than he already is.  Here's an example.  I give you an exchange between Picard (the captain of the ship, played by Patrick Stewart) and Q from Encounter at Farpoint: 

Q: What an interesting idea! Prosecute and judge! But suppose it turns out that we understand you Humans only too well."
Picard: We have no fear what the true facts about us will reveal.
Q: Facts about you? Splendid, splendid, Captain! You're a veritable fountain of ideas. There are preparations to make, but when we next meet, Captain, we'll proceed exactly as you suggest.

Now let's see that again, except with Michael Kay playing the part of Q:

Michael Q: HEY FANS, that's an interesting idea, but not as interesting as what I have to say!  WHO BUT Humans to prosecute and judge!  But suppose it turns out that I know everything about Humans and baseball even though Ken Singleton is way more experienced than I am."
Picard: We have no fear what the true facts about us will reveal.
Michael Q: Facts about you? This conversation has been an unmanageable five minutes.  Regardless, the notion is a good idea.  You are a Jeterian fountain of ideas.  There are preparations to make, but I'm hungry and I need to eat chicken parm and not vegetables.  Captain Picard, SEE YA!

I think Michael Kay would win an Emmy.

Discussion Question: What other characters could Michael Kay play, and how would the dialogue go?

  

I'm Back

I love writing.  I love it a lot, but I've been terrible with finding the time to do it.  So now that some of my time has freed up, I've decided to write as much as I possibly can.  And I figure my good, old blog is the best place to start.

I will be featuring a specific type of post.  This is some real, heavy nerd-stuff... I have decided to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation from beginning to end.  I watched some of it as a kid, but I don't remember much about it other than the characters.  So I bring you a regular feature, Liz's Reaction to Star Trek: The Next Generation (I'll probably think of a cooler name for it as I move forward).  If you know me, you'll know that this won't be just a recap.  True Liz style involves sarcastic and spontaneous reaction.  If you are not familiar with Star Trek, or you're terrified of it, you should be able to follow along.

For those of you who have decided to remain terrified, I am also committed to writing a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with Star Trek.

Here I go...

Stay Tuned...

There is more to come.