Ramen Noodles: The Poor Man's Crack

Hello. My name is Liz and I am addicted to ramen noodles. This is the first time I am openly admitting this, but my addition is obvious to those who are close to me.



I've known the salty goodness that is ramen my entire life. When I was in grade school, I would eat dinner at a friend's house and her parents would serve ramen noodles as a side dish. My parents always served me healthy, non-processed food growing up, so the salty, spicy ramen was a treat.

It wasn't until college that I developed my initial addiction. I didn't have much of a food budget then, about $20 per week. $1 would get me six packs of ramen noodles, and I would have $19 left over for beer. Although I never mixed the two, ramen and beer were extremely complimentary of each other. After a night of boozing, there was nothing better than coming home to a salty bowl of ramen, prepared in 3 minutes.

Now I am a few years out of college and I still ingest massive amounts of ramen. I am privy to the oriental flavor, but chicken hits the spot as well. I've dabbled in other forms of sodium: Lipton soups, ginger ale, mashed potatoes and popcorn loaded with extra salt but nothing hits the spot like ramen noodles.

I prepare it over the stove. Shaking until I get my sodium fix, I wait for the water to boil. I have a special bowl that I like using and a special spoon. The experience is just sub par with out them. Once the water boils, I break up the ramen into manageable quarters, so each part is thoroughly boiled. Before the noodles absorb most of the water, I shake the flavor packet so everything is concentrated towards the bottom. To have the flavoring spill would be most tragic, since that is where the salty concoction comes from. Ripping open the top of the flavor packet, I quickly sprinkle the flavoring and stir. I don't want the magic powder to lose its oriental flavor, so this part of the routine is done quickly. Still shaking from withdrawl, I pour the finished product into my special bowl and stir again with my special spoon. I inhale the saltiness and then take my first sip. The feeling of that first sip is the rush I have been waiting for all day! It's like a shock of evil rushing through my taste buds.

I know ramen noodles have no nutritional value whatsoever. I've tried to convince myself how horrible they are for me, and that I will most likely develop heart disease from daily ingestion. I've imagined the ramen noodle factory, and tried to trick myself into believing that it's rat infested and full of evil fat midgets who are shareholders in pharmaceutical companies that specialize in blood pressure medication. No luck, I still need the saltiness.

Yes, I am addict who gets their fix the cheapest way they can. And I have taken the first step and admitted it. Please stay tuned for my adventures in recovery. It's a long, winding road, but I am confident that I can get there and kick my habit for good!