Survivor

I am not a huge fan of Survivor but my roommate watches it regularly. I noticed that the host, Jeff Probst, uses the words, "immediately leave the island" when instructing the villagers (or the carefully-selected actors) how to depart after they're voted out.

What if someone doesn't immediately leave the island? What if they shuffle their way out, taking a victory lap to squeeze every last second out of those 15 minutes of fame? Are they forcibly removed at that point? Is there a bodyguard there? Is Jeff Probst really a robot with a time bomb inside him, and at the slightest delay of a reject leaving the island,he blows up, killing everyone instantly? Does the band Survivor come out and play "Eye of the Tiger" until the villagers burst into a psychotic revolt due to the repetition?

This is why I'm here. I ask the tough questions.

This Whiny Brat Pack Has To Go! Hey Hey! Ho Ho!

Dear Protesting Students at NYU:

Really? You’re staging “violent” protests over the release of financial information? And just while you’re at it, you’re throwing in some hubbub about providing scholarships to foreign students?

If you’re staging near-violent protests, I really think that you could find a cause that’s a little more exciting. Like cafeteria food. Or the fact that meat is murder.

I get it… you’re upset over the fact that Girls Gone Wild never made it to NYU for their co-ed special and you’re masking it with a political cause! You have to learn to accept that NYC isn’t really an ideal setting for a low-budget porno that’s going to be cherished by millions of Americans.

Seriously though, most people would consider it an honor to attend NYU. Please reconsider your methods. You’re all very lucky to be attending such a prestigious university. If you don’t like what NYU does, then transfer.