Do Not Interrupt

I just saw this poll on tmz.com which inspired me to write. The poll asks whose outburst was the worst: Kayne West (interrupting Taylor Swift during her award acceptance at the VMA’s), Rep. Joe Wilson (interrupting President Obama during his speech), or Serena Williams (berating a tennis official during one of her matches).

In my opinion, it is clearly Rep. Joe Wilson who is guilty of the most disrespectful outburst. Regardless of who the president is, you do not disrupt that man from speaking! The president can eradicate you from all political existence and he can banish you to community service with cranky, old people. The man can even sentence you to be Rush Limbaugh’s Supreme Bathroom Cleaner (a friend of mine’s uncle had a second cousin whose pastor had a brother that did this job – it’s not that fun).

So to all who read this, please be respectful and do not interrupt others when they are publicly speaking… you may wind up in the marsh of perpetual reek that is Rush Limbaugh’s bathroom.

Shocking Revelation #1 - Music

I was heavily involved in music growing up. I played the flute/piccolo, dabbled with piano and trumpet, and sang in chorus. Instead of listening to the sounds of the 90’s, I worshiped the pioneers of rock n’ roll. I frequented Broadway musicals and performed in a dance routine in my high school’s talent show.

Thus, my shocking revelation: I am not a music lover. I believe that I immersed myself in musical programs to feed my compulsive need for achievement.

I am not knocking musicians or music in general. Having experienced what it’s like to play and write music, I appreciate the talent that most musicians possess. I think that a musical background is a positive influence on children and that it enhances certain aspects of their knowledge and personality.

With that being said, here are some thoughts I have about today’s music:

*I do not like going to concerts unless it’s a concert that features a “legend.”
Legends I have seen: David Gilmore, Lou Reed, Pete Townsend
Musicians whom I consider to be a legend: Paul McCartney, Robert Plant, Bob Dylan

*I am conflicted as to whether Madonna is a musician or not, however I consider her to be a legend.

*Britney Spears is neither a musician nor a legend. I will admit that some of her “tunes” are catchy.

*I do not gain anything from listening to an album cover-to-cover. When I say that I like a song, and someone responds with, “That’s a great album,” consider the meaningful part of the conversation over.

*After listening to Bob Dylan at a very young age, I was thoroughly convinced that there was something mentally wrong with him.

*Over past five years, songs that are included in the rock/alternative genre sound painfully alike. The same goes for hip hop and R&B.

In conclusion: Was I/Am I living a lie or just getting old? Let’s find out in 10 years.

Survivor

I am not a huge fan of Survivor but my roommate watches it regularly. I noticed that the host, Jeff Probst, uses the words, "immediately leave the island" when instructing the villagers (or the carefully-selected actors) how to depart after they're voted out.

What if someone doesn't immediately leave the island? What if they shuffle their way out, taking a victory lap to squeeze every last second out of those 15 minutes of fame? Are they forcibly removed at that point? Is there a bodyguard there? Is Jeff Probst really a robot with a time bomb inside him, and at the slightest delay of a reject leaving the island,he blows up, killing everyone instantly? Does the band Survivor come out and play "Eye of the Tiger" until the villagers burst into a psychotic revolt due to the repetition?

This is why I'm here. I ask the tough questions.

This Whiny Brat Pack Has To Go! Hey Hey! Ho Ho!

Dear Protesting Students at NYU:

Really? You’re staging “violent” protests over the release of financial information? And just while you’re at it, you’re throwing in some hubbub about providing scholarships to foreign students?

If you’re staging near-violent protests, I really think that you could find a cause that’s a little more exciting. Like cafeteria food. Or the fact that meat is murder.

I get it… you’re upset over the fact that Girls Gone Wild never made it to NYU for their co-ed special and you’re masking it with a political cause! You have to learn to accept that NYC isn’t really an ideal setting for a low-budget porno that’s going to be cherished by millions of Americans.

Seriously though, most people would consider it an honor to attend NYU. Please reconsider your methods. You’re all very lucky to be attending such a prestigious university. If you don’t like what NYU does, then transfer.

Socks and Sandals: A Sorrowful Sight

MEN! Why do some of you wear socks with sandals? I don't understand the point!





The definition of sandal:
n.
1. A shoe consisting of a sole fastened to the foot by thongs or straps.
2. A low-cut shoe fastened to the foot by an ankle strap.
3. A rubber overshoe cut very low and covering little more than the sole of the shoe.
4. A strap or band for fastening a low shoe or slipper on the foot.

If you read through the definition, you can get the gist of how a sandal works. The idea is to have a rubber sole with an attachment that covers part of the foot or ankle for the purpose of keeping the rubber sole in place. The whole concept of a sandal is not really to cover the foot...

So WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!

Are you trying to warm your feet up? If your feet are cold, why don't you wear shoes? Are you trying to show off your socks? I highly doubt that... your washed-out ankle Nike socks aren't anything to write home about. Or, are you attempting to alleviate the concentration of stank from your regular shoes? They have Odor Eaters for that!

Honestly, it's like wearing ass chaps with underwear. Or a bikini over long johns... there is no point! I would love to hear from someone, ANYONE, who can provide an ounce of reasoning behind this fashion flub... I just cannot see both sides to this!